Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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