I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize