it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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