i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
