i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Threesome in a minivan. New low
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
