Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
