WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
