We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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