the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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