Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
