Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
