i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Randomize
