I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
