so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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