i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Are we in a gay sports bar?
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
