ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
