am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
