We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
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