8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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