dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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