She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
