Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Randomize
