We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
