frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
