So drunk its hurt
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
