Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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