She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Randomize
