Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
