Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Randomize
