My cat gives me a boner
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Randomize
