I hate all girls vehemently.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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