Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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