I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
