While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I think I sprained my soul last night
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
