remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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