I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
