I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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