No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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