I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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