she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
