Come see our sink grown plant.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
