I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Randomize
