Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
