i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
my vag is so smooth its legendary
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
