I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
i will never coherently bang her
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
