I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
