lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Randomize
