I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
