something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
