yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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