i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
