Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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