he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
