if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Holy shit dude........stairs
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