I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
