go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
