the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
