Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
