A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
