I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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